Just like that

Management Lessons

Lesson 1:

A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings.

The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs.

When she opens the door, there stands Bob , the next-door neighbor..

Before she says a word, Bob says, 'I'll give you $800 to drop that towel.'

After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob, after a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves.

The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.

When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, 'Who was that?'

'It was Bob the next door neighbor,' she replies.

'Great,' the husband says , 'did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?'

Moral of the story:

If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure..

Lesson 2:

A priest offered a Nun a lift.

She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg.

The priest nearly had an accident.

After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.

The nun said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'

The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again.

The nun once again said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'

The priest apologized 'Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.'

Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way.

On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, 'Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.'

Moral of the story:

If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.

Lesson 3:

A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp.

They rub it and a Genie comes out.

The Genie says, 'I'll give each of you just one wish.'

'Me first! Me first!' says the admin clerk 'I want to be in the Bahamas , driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.'

Puff! She's gone.

'Me next! Me next!' says the sales rep. 'I want to be in Hawaii , relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life.'

Puff! He's gone..

'OK, you're up,' the Genie says to the manager.

The manager says, 'I want those two back in the office after lunch'

Moral of the story:

Always let your boss have the first say.

Lesson 4

An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing.

A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, 'Can I also sit like you and do nothing?'

The eagle answered: 'Sure, why not.'

So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Moral of the story:

To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.

Lesson 5

A turkey was chatting with a bull.

'I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree' sighed the turkey, 'but I haven't got the energy.'

'Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?' replied the bull. They're packed with nutrients..'

The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.

The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch..

Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree.

He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.

Moral of the story:

Bull Shit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.

Lesson 6

A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field.

While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him.

As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was.

The dung was actually thawing him out!

He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy..

A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate.

Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.

Morals of the story:

(1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.

(2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your

friend.

(3 ) And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep

your mouth shut!

Source: http://softhub.blogspot.com/2007/03/5-minute-management-course.html

http://www.boreme.com/boreme/funny-2008/management-lessons-p1.php

What do I do ?

Pebbles on the beach of West Island Reservation, Fairhaven, Massachusetts

On Father's Day

Dear Dad,

Thank you!

Thank you for paying 1/4th of your income for my elementary school fee when you had a wife and 1 more kid to feed, educate and shelter. I don't know how you did it? I guess I was too young to know.

Thank you for buying us new clothes for Dashain and wearing that same Grey coat you had been wearing for a couple of years. I still remember how you looked that Dashain. I guess I was too busy to show the new dress to my friends and relatives that I never asked you if you liked to wear that faded coat.

Thank you for bringing that used AERO bicycle that I had wished for my 11th birthday. I guess I was in such a hurry to ride on it, that I didn't even bother to ask you how many hours of overtime you had to work to pay for it.

Thank you for not leaving me alone for a single moment for a whole week when I was admitted to the hospital to cure my typhoid. Did anyone ask you if you were ever tired/sleepless? I didn't.

Thank you for not traveling to see your sick dad so that you could save up the expenses for that first TV we wanted in our living room. Did you get to see your dad in his final days? I guess not, you were too broke to even call him.

Thank you for smiling and hugging me when I said, "I hate you" for not buying me an 100 cc Hero Honda when all of my friends were riding on PULSER. Were you really smiling? I guess not. Then tell me why did you go to your room and sob? I saw you dad.

Thank you for sending me off to St. Xavier's for my intermediate studies, when I could've joined Tribhuvan University with fewer expenses. Do you have enough funds on your pension account now? I guess I wouldn't know unless you tell me dad.

Thank you for not letting us know about your everlasting back pain so that you didn't have to go to the doctor. Does it still hurt? I guess so, because the only time I know you went to the hospital was when I was admitted for typhoid.

Thank you for those tears you shed when you found out I passed my intermediate exam in first division. Are you still proud of me? I guess all parents are proud of their kids.

Thank you for sending me abroad for my higher education even though I knew you couldn't afford it. Did you pay off your debt yet? I guess not. You are retired and you don't have any pension fund left for your so called golden days.

Finally, thank you for thanking me for my achievement. Let me ask you dad, do you think it's worth devoting your past, present and future for your kids? I guess I won't know unless I have my own kid(s).

(I found this on sajha.com)

A blonde

A depressed young woman was so desperate that she decided to end her life by throwing herself into the ocean. When she went down to the docks, a handsome young sailor noticed her tears, took pity on her, and said, "Look, you've got a lot to live for. I'm off to Europe in the morning, and if you like, I can stow you away on my ship. I'll take good care of you and bring you food every day." Moving closer, he slipped his arm around her shoulder and added, "I'll keep you happy, and you'll keep me happy." The girl nodded yes, after all, what did she have to lose? That night, the sailor brought her aboard and hid her in a lifeboat. From then on, every night he brought her three sandwiches and a piece of fruit, and they made passionate love until dawn. Three weeks later, during a routine search, she was discovered by the captain. 'What are you doing here?' the captain asked. She got up off the ground and explained, "I have an arrangement with one of the sailors. He's taking me to Europe, and he's screwing me." The captain looked at her, "Are you sure lady? This is the Staten Island Ferry."

The Sands of time

This photograph was taken in Kolmanskop, Namibia। Kolmanskop is an abandoned diamond mine near the coast. The ghost town has several residences and barrack-type accommodations, as well as the remains of a few commercial establishments. Today the town is a photographer's dream come true. One cannot spend enough time taking in all the photographic opportunities.

Photograph by Chris Gray